Recap: You've been seeing this guy for about two weeks. He's taken you out to dinner twice (and you chose where the second time). Time for date #3: The movies
Planning the date:
1. Work together to decide on a movie
2. Remember: its what YOU want to see, not what he likes, right?
Getting Ready:
1. Dress as though it a casual diner. All guidelines for that apply here.
2. Showing a bit more skin is allowed
3. No cleavage, please
4. Showing a bit more skin does not mean wearing low-rise jeans
The date itself:
1. Each of you pays for you own ticket
2. He pays for anything else that either of you want
3. If you are feeling up to it, reach for his hand (but keep watching the movie)
4. When he takes you home, drop (subtle) clues about how much fun you had
5. If you are feeling bold, give him a kiss before you close the door.
6. Follow you heart (That's too close for comfort to Jimminy Cricket's Trademark cliche...) and see where it leads
Up next:
Date #4: Time to get serious
November 9, 2009
Date #3: Guidelines for men
Recap: Well done, guys. You took her to two different restaurants, and she choose the second. Now, its time for a new challenge:
Date 3: The movies
Planning the date:
1. Work together to decide on a movie
2. Lean toward something romantic (Yes, I know - this might bother you but its worth your while)
3. Its more about what she wants to see than what you want to see
Getting Ready:
Dress as though it a casual diner. All guidelines for that apply here.
The date itself:
1. Each of you pays for you own ticket
2. You pay for anything else she wants (Popcorn, soda, candy, ect)
3. You just met two weeks ago, right? This means its too soon to pull off the fake yawn trick :)
4. No means no. End of story
5. However, if she reaches for you hand (who knows, right), take it gently and keep watching the movie
6. When the movie ends, and its time to take her home, ask her if she had fun. Watch for the signs that she did here....
7. The 'kiss at the door' guidelines still apply, but never be more forceful than she is. You know exactly what I mean, right?
Up next:
Date #3: Guidelines for Women
Date 3: The movies
Planning the date:
1. Work together to decide on a movie
2. Lean toward something romantic (Yes, I know - this might bother you but its worth your while)
3. Its more about what she wants to see than what you want to see
Getting Ready:
Dress as though it a casual diner. All guidelines for that apply here.
The date itself:
1. Each of you pays for you own ticket
2. You pay for anything else she wants (Popcorn, soda, candy, ect)
3. You just met two weeks ago, right? This means its too soon to pull off the fake yawn trick :)
4. No means no. End of story
5. However, if she reaches for you hand (who knows, right), take it gently and keep watching the movie
6. When the movie ends, and its time to take her home, ask her if she had fun. Watch for the signs that she did here....
7. The 'kiss at the door' guidelines still apply, but never be more forceful than she is. You know exactly what I mean, right?
Up next:
Date #3: Guidelines for Women
Guidelines for date #2
Recap: Okay, you both survived date #1. What about date #2?
This is an easy one. It's the exact same thing as date #1. There is one key change (for the men):
Ask her where she would like to go this time.
Women do not need to change anything
Up next:
Planning date #3: Guidelines for men
This is an easy one. It's the exact same thing as date #1. There is one key change (for the men):
Ask her where she would like to go this time.
Women do not need to change anything
Up next:
Planning date #3: Guidelines for men
The date itself and afterword: Guidelines for Women
Recap: He has taken you to the restaurant. Now what?
1. Accept anything he does to help or assist you
2. Make conversation to break the ice. He might be a nervous wreck. Try to make that less of a burden for him
3. Test him occasionally (Pretend to shiver and see if he offers you his jacket)
4. Don't order wine (wait for date #2)
5. If the waiter or waitress asks if you want desert, its your job to answer, not his
6. It's his responsibility to pay the bill, not yours (this includes the tip)
When you arrive back home:
1. Thank him if you had fun
2. If you are feeling brave (or think you might be falling in love with him) lean in to kiss him - on the cheek (no lips yet)
Up next: Guidelines for date #2
1. Accept anything he does to help or assist you
2. Make conversation to break the ice. He might be a nervous wreck. Try to make that less of a burden for him
3. Test him occasionally (Pretend to shiver and see if he offers you his jacket)
4. Don't order wine (wait for date #2)
5. If the waiter or waitress asks if you want desert, its your job to answer, not his
6. It's his responsibility to pay the bill, not yours (this includes the tip)
When you arrive back home:
1. Thank him if you had fun
2. If you are feeling brave (or think you might be falling in love with him) lean in to kiss him - on the cheek (no lips yet)
Up next: Guidelines for date #2
November 8, 2009
The date itself and afterward: Guidelines for Men
Recap: You are now at the restaurant. Now what?
1. Open and close the (car) door for her
2. Walk her to the door
3. Open it (and let her go inside first)
4. When seated, push her chair in
5. If applicable, help her take her jacket off.
6. Talk to her (Without using the word 'like', I know its tough, but try your best :) )
7. No wine or beer (Not until date #2)
8. If your meal comes first, don't start eating until her's arrives.
9. If she does not order desert, don't order any either
10. If she shivers, offer her your jacket
11. It's your responsibility to pay the bill (this includes the tip)
After the date:
1. When leaving: Do the same things you did when you arrived
2. When you drop her, ask her if she enjoyed dinner (If her response is something similar to, "I did. Thank you," then you performed very well.
3. If she leans in to kiss you (not very likely) allow it and don't be forceful or overpowering
Up next:
The date itself and afterword: Guidelines for Women
1. Open and close the (car) door for her
2. Walk her to the door
3. Open it (and let her go inside first)
4. When seated, push her chair in
5. If applicable, help her take her jacket off.
6. Talk to her (Without using the word 'like', I know its tough, but try your best :) )
7. No wine or beer (Not until date #2)
8. If your meal comes first, don't start eating until her's arrives.
9. If she does not order desert, don't order any either
10. If she shivers, offer her your jacket
11. It's your responsibility to pay the bill (this includes the tip)
After the date:
1. When leaving: Do the same things you did when you arrived
2. When you drop her, ask her if she enjoyed dinner (If her response is something similar to, "I did. Thank you," then you performed very well.
3. If she leans in to kiss you (not very likely) allow it and don't be forceful or overpowering
Up next:
The date itself and afterword: Guidelines for Women
Heading to the restaurant: Guidelines for Women
Recap: He has come to pick you up. Now what?
1. Turn the iPhone/Cell Phone/Blackberry off and keep it off.
2. Wait for him to come to you.
3. Walk with him to the car or truck. Accept any assistance he offers.
4. When speaking, attempt to do so normally (without every other word being 'like'; it an adjective, not a verb (it's easy for me, I never picked that habit up))
Up next:
The date itself: Guidelines for Men
1. Turn the iPhone/Cell Phone/Blackberry off and keep it off.
2. Wait for him to come to you.
3. Walk with him to the car or truck. Accept any assistance he offers.
4. When speaking, attempt to do so normally (without every other word being 'like'; it an adjective, not a verb (it's easy for me, I never picked that habit up))
Up next:
The date itself: Guidelines for Men
Picking her up
Recap: You are heading over to pick her up. Now what?
1. Turn the radio off and leave it off. Same with the iPhone/Cell Phone/Blackberry
2. Park somewhere and go to her. Don't make her come to you.
3. Walk her to the car/truck. Be sure you open and close the door for her. Help her get in if needed.
4. Ask her if she needs help buckling up
5. Talk to her, and attempt to speak normally (without every other word being 'like'; it an adjective, not a verb (it's easy for me, I never picked that habit up))
6. Topics to avoid: Sports, politics, and religion
7. Leave the MP3 player at home
8. Bring an umbrella if it's raining heavily
Up next:
Heading to the restaurant: Guidelines for women
1. Turn the radio off and leave it off. Same with the iPhone/Cell Phone/Blackberry
2. Park somewhere and go to her. Don't make her come to you.
3. Walk her to the car/truck. Be sure you open and close the door for her. Help her get in if needed.
4. Ask her if she needs help buckling up
5. Talk to her, and attempt to speak normally (without every other word being 'like'; it an adjective, not a verb (it's easy for me, I never picked that habit up))
6. Topics to avoid: Sports, politics, and religion
7. Leave the MP3 player at home
8. Bring an umbrella if it's raining heavily
Up next:
Heading to the restaurant: Guidelines for women
Preparing for Date #1: Guidelines for Women
Recap: Everything is planned and he's going to pick you up later this (early) evening. What on earth do you wear?
If the restaurant is high-end (such as Scupper Jack's):
A. No jeans. Wear nice-looking pants. Be sure to iron them
B. Wear a short sleeve (summer) or long-sleeve (winter) shirt. Once again, iron it
C. No tank-tops and please, don't flaunt anything. Make sure any straps or undergarments cannot be seen
D. No perfume (at least, not on date #1)
E. Wear decent shoes. No high heels
If the restaurant is semi-casual (99, Chilies, Outback, Applebees, or somewhere similar)
A. Jeans are okay, but not if they're ripped
B. Wear a nice shirt, weather-permitting. No tank-tops, and hide the cleavage. It will distract him
C. Don't forget to iron them.
D. No perfume
E. Wear regular shoes. No sandals or slippers (I've seen people wear the last two, and it breaks my heart)
If the restaurant is in the North End
A. Save this for a special occasion, and wait until you have been dating at least three months
B. Dress pants are a must (or a casual dress)
C. Wear a nicer shirt than normal but keep the cleavage hidden.
Other guidelines:
1. Brush you teeth
2. Shower (this includes washing your hair and shaving)
3. Don't go too heavy on the makeup and stuff. My personal opinion: If people notice, you overdid it.
4. Hide the tattoos
5. Leave the cigarettes and matches/lighter at home.
Up next:
Picking her up: Guidelines for the ride
If the restaurant is high-end (such as Scupper Jack's):
A. No jeans. Wear nice-looking pants. Be sure to iron them
B. Wear a short sleeve (summer) or long-sleeve (winter) shirt. Once again, iron it
C. No tank-tops and please, don't flaunt anything. Make sure any straps or undergarments cannot be seen
D. No perfume (at least, not on date #1)
E. Wear decent shoes. No high heels
If the restaurant is semi-casual (99, Chilies, Outback, Applebees, or somewhere similar)
A. Jeans are okay, but not if they're ripped
B. Wear a nice shirt, weather-permitting. No tank-tops, and hide the cleavage. It will distract him
C. Don't forget to iron them.
D. No perfume
E. Wear regular shoes. No sandals or slippers (I've seen people wear the last two, and it breaks my heart)
If the restaurant is in the North End
A. Save this for a special occasion, and wait until you have been dating at least three months
B. Dress pants are a must (or a casual dress)
C. Wear a nicer shirt than normal but keep the cleavage hidden.
Other guidelines:
1. Brush you teeth
2. Shower (this includes washing your hair and shaving)
3. Don't go too heavy on the makeup and stuff. My personal opinion: If people notice, you overdid it.
4. Hide the tattoos
5. Leave the cigarettes and matches/lighter at home.
Up next:
Picking her up: Guidelines for the ride
Preparing for Date #1: Guidelines for Men
Recap: You called/emailed her and you have a date planned sometime soon at a restaurant. Its the same day as the date, you need to be ready. Here's what you need to know:
1. Be sure you car/truck looks clean and neat, both inside and outside. A dirty, messy vehicle is a major turn-off for her.
2. Dress nicely:
If the restaurant is high-end (such as Scupper Jack's):
A. No jeans. Wear nice-looking cargo pants. Be sure to iron them
B. Wear a short sleeve (summer) or long-sleeve (winter) button-down shirt. Once again, iron it
C. Cologne is okay, but don't overdue it. Using too much will make you appear overbearing and 'too strong'
D. Wear decent shoes. Do not wear athletic shoes or hiking boots.
E. If you wear boxers, make sure they do not rise above the waistline.
If the restaurant is semi-casual (99, Chilies, Outback, Applebees, or somewhere similar)
A. Jeans are okay, but not if they're ripped
B. Wear a nice shirt, weather-permitting. No t-shirts (the type you'd wear to the gym)
C. Do not use cologne
D. Wear semi-decent shoes. Do not wear athletic shoes, hiking boots, sandals, or slippers (I've seen people wear the last two, and it breaks my heart)
E. If you wear boxers, make sure they do not rise above the waistline.
If the restaurant is in the North End
A. Save this for a special occasion, and wait until you have been dating at least three months
B. Dress pants are a must
C. Wear a plain (okay, one small graphic (I have one with a duck) on the pocket) long sleeve shirt
D. Use cologne. Once again, go lightly
E. You don't need a tie
F. Be sure to call ahead if needed
E. If you wear boxers, make sure they do not rise above the waistline.
3. Restaurants to avoid (and why):
A. Friendly's: Save this for your younger sister or brother
B. Woodman's: Consider this a fast food place, with the smell of dead seafood added
C. Applebee's Carside to go, Outback Curbside Takeaway Online Ordering, or anything similar: Consider this fast food or takeout. Don't do it.
4. Women do not like to wait. Be on time, or early if possible (but no earlier than 10 minutes)
5. Shower and brush your teeth. There's nothing worse than bad breath
6. Do not use axe body spray
7. Hide the tattoos
8. No earrings (or any other visible piercings)
9. Leave the cigarettes and matches/lighter at home.
Up next:
Preparing for Date #1: Guidelines for Women
1. Be sure you car/truck looks clean and neat, both inside and outside. A dirty, messy vehicle is a major turn-off for her.
2. Dress nicely:
If the restaurant is high-end (such as Scupper Jack's):
A. No jeans. Wear nice-looking cargo pants. Be sure to iron them
B. Wear a short sleeve (summer) or long-sleeve (winter) button-down shirt. Once again, iron it
C. Cologne is okay, but don't overdue it. Using too much will make you appear overbearing and 'too strong'
D. Wear decent shoes. Do not wear athletic shoes or hiking boots.
E. If you wear boxers, make sure they do not rise above the waistline.
If the restaurant is semi-casual (99, Chilies, Outback, Applebees, or somewhere similar)
A. Jeans are okay, but not if they're ripped
B. Wear a nice shirt, weather-permitting. No t-shirts (the type you'd wear to the gym)
C. Do not use cologne
D. Wear semi-decent shoes. Do not wear athletic shoes, hiking boots, sandals, or slippers (I've seen people wear the last two, and it breaks my heart)
E. If you wear boxers, make sure they do not rise above the waistline.
If the restaurant is in the North End
A. Save this for a special occasion, and wait until you have been dating at least three months
B. Dress pants are a must
C. Wear a plain (okay, one small graphic (I have one with a duck) on the pocket) long sleeve shirt
D. Use cologne. Once again, go lightly
E. You don't need a tie
F. Be sure to call ahead if needed
E. If you wear boxers, make sure they do not rise above the waistline.
3. Restaurants to avoid (and why):
A. Friendly's: Save this for your younger sister or brother
B. Woodman's: Consider this a fast food place, with the smell of dead seafood added
C. Applebee's Carside to go, Outback Curbside Takeaway Online Ordering, or anything similar: Consider this fast food or takeout. Don't do it.
4. Women do not like to wait. Be on time, or early if possible (but no earlier than 10 minutes)
5. Shower and brush your teeth. There's nothing worse than bad breath
6. Do not use axe body spray
7. Hide the tattoos
8. No earrings (or any other visible piercings)
9. Leave the cigarettes and matches/lighter at home.
Up next:
Preparing for Date #1: Guidelines for Women
Planning Date #1: Guidelines for Women
First, a recap so far: He asked for your email address and phone number (and you gave him a 'real' number), Here's what comes next
1. Only wait three days.
2. The first date is always out to dinner. Don't agree to see a movie (at the theater) until date #3
3. You are the priority here. He should work around your schedule.
4. If he's yelling or you hear loud music in the background, he's most likely at a club.
Up next:
Preparing for Date #1: Guidelines for Men
1. Only wait three days.
2. The first date is always out to dinner. Don't agree to see a movie (at the theater) until date #3
3. You are the priority here. He should work around your schedule.
4. If he's yelling or you hear loud music in the background, he's most likely at a club.
Up next:
Preparing for Date #1: Guidelines for Men
Planning Date #1: Guidelines for Men
First, a recap so far: You have an email address, and a genuine phone number. It's time to plan the the first date. Here's what you need to know:
1. Call or email within three days
2. The first date is always out to dinner. Do not choose your favorite sports bar. Wait until at least date #3 (if you even get there) for the movies
3. Work around her schedule and then work around yours. Remember: you want to make a good impression
4. If you call, make sure you do so in a quiet area and not at the local bar or club.
5. Agree to pick her up at a specific time.
6. Plan the date for a weeknight at around 5. I recommend Friday nights but that's only a suggestion. I do not recommend Saturday nights as these are incredibly busy. Once you reach 6:00, the wait time is at least 30 minutes (and that's unfair to her).
Up next:
Planning Date #1: Guidelines for Women
1. Call or email within three days
2. The first date is always out to dinner. Do not choose your favorite sports bar. Wait until at least date #3 (if you even get there) for the movies
3. Work around her schedule and then work around yours. Remember: you want to make a good impression
4. If you call, make sure you do so in a quiet area and not at the local bar or club.
5. Agree to pick her up at a specific time.
6. Plan the date for a weeknight at around 5. I recommend Friday nights but that's only a suggestion. I do not recommend Saturday nights as these are incredibly busy. Once you reach 6:00, the wait time is at least 30 minutes (and that's unfair to her).
Up next:
Planning Date #1: Guidelines for Women
Approaching people
Unfortunately, my experience in approaching people to ask them out is limited. I can offer you these guidelines:
1. Use the anxiety to your advantage (thanks to Laurie (you know who you are) & my public speaking teacher for this)
2. Be yourself
3. Keep your cool
4. Be polite
5. Be sure you have her phone number and email
6. If she (or he) gives a range of time in a day to call, be sure you listen to them
7. If you are given a 'rejection hotline', don't bother with that person again
Up next: Planning Date #1
1. Use the anxiety to your advantage (thanks to Laurie (you know who you are) & my public speaking teacher for this)
2. Be yourself
3. Keep your cool
4. Be polite
5. Be sure you have her phone number and email
6. If she (or he) gives a range of time in a day to call, be sure you listen to them
7. If you are given a 'rejection hotline', don't bother with that person again
Up next: Planning Date #1
I was at a restaurant earlier, and as I watched people walking by, I realized that most of the couples I saw walk past me had little or no experience with what it meant to be a gentleman (or gentlewoman). It breaks my heart to think that this is a lost art. Luckily, I'm here to help but first I have some ground rules:
1. This is about dating, not getting into bed with people. If you want help with that, you won't find it here, at all. Sorry
2. You are at least 21 (and if not, have enough common sense not to attempt to order wine. (which I will be bringing up at one point) Shame on you for trying that)
3. You're not married. This is for the dating scene, not 'how to get away with having an affair. Stop reading now and rethink what you're about to do. (Of course, If you feel you require assistance with this anyway, keep reading)
4. You're not in a relationship and cheating. Shame on you.
5. No offense to anybody who falls under this, but I have no experience with homosexual dating. Sorry about that (By the way, I may be straight but I accept everybody. We are all people, right?)
That's all for this post.
Up next: The (dreadful) approach process...
1. This is about dating, not getting into bed with people. If you want help with that, you won't find it here, at all. Sorry
2. You are at least 21 (and if not, have enough common sense not to attempt to order wine. (which I will be bringing up at one point) Shame on you for trying that)
3. You're not married. This is for the dating scene, not 'how to get away with having an affair. Stop reading now and rethink what you're about to do. (Of course, If you feel you require assistance with this anyway, keep reading)
4. You're not in a relationship and cheating. Shame on you.
5. No offense to anybody who falls under this, but I have no experience with homosexual dating. Sorry about that (By the way, I may be straight but I accept everybody. We are all people, right?)
That's all for this post.
Up next: The (dreadful) approach process...
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